BY ROBERT MORRIS
“Life is not just about the good things or not just about the bad things. It is both. It all depends where you focus your attention” – Ann Marie Aguilar
When we think about life, most of the times, we feel overwhelmed about the complexity it brings. Sometimes life can be a nightmare, while other times it can be wonderful. Everybody knows that, but what many don’t know is that you can influence your life’s course by perceiving it differently.
Few years ago, my love of my life left me for someone else. Was I the problem? Even today I have no clue how this could happen. She managed to win the custody of our only son, and succeeded to destroy my life. At least that’s what I thought back then.
There was another problem. Besides my parents, I had no close friends to hang out with. Being so involved in the wellbeing of my family made me neglect my other personal relationships. Therefore, I was alone, beaten by life, and no one to speak with and count on. Total emptiness.
It’s been two years now, and my life is better than ever. Hold on. Before thinking that I’ve swallowed a magic pill to get here, I want to assure you that it’s nothing like that.
So I decided to share seven powerful steps that will help you get your life back together. On top of that, if you’re open-minded and willing to listen, you will also understand how to notice the wonders and beauty of life that you never even bothered noticing before. Let’s begin.
Past and Future are Merely Illusions
Think about this. Whenever we reconstruct our past experiences in our heads, we are basically creating a new version of what happened. Why? Well, it’s impossible to remember every detail that happened.
What about the future? When we think about something that’s probably going to happen in our lives, we make assumptions. We believe and imagine things using our own perspective. Can you realize the fact that it’s all an illusion created by your own mind? Your own subjective perception takes over and tells you what did happen and what is going to happen.
What about the present moment? Well, that’s the answer to our problems. If we stop living in the past or future, we can focus on our present moment and change our lives. Focusing on the present moment will change the way you live forever!
Live Your Day Like it’s the Only One Left
Quite funny how people react when they realize that they don’t have much longer. It’s only then when you realize that you could have done more, enjoyed more, and lived more.
Whenever you feel down, think about life in general. Think about what is life? In fact, we only know what life isn’t – eternal. We all have a starting and an ending point. It’s up to us how we decide to experience it.
Change Your Self-Talk
Our inner voice often takes control of our thoughts and behavior. Unfortunately, the “voice” is used to speak on its own, without asking you whether you agree or not. When life hits you hard, your inner voice becomes your biggest enemy.
Instead of being beneficial to your own well-being, your self-talk poisons you with negative thoughts and feelings. Here’s a quick exercise: imagine that you’re being paid $1 each time you become aware of your negative thoughts. Now, you can get another dollar if you choose to remove the negative thought and replace it with a positive one.
With time, you will begin to notice how your brain gets used to more positive talk. This will turn you into a more optimistic person which means that your overall happiness will be greater.
Did you know that gratitude and love are the only feelings that can truly cure all negative feelings? When you enter that powerful state of gratitude, everything that’s bad starts to go away.
Sometimes bad things happen. A child loss, a broken marriage, or any awful situations can bring you down. You’ll be trapped into a negative thinking pattern and forget to see what’s good in life. That’s what gratitude is all about. Here’s what you should do: take a moment of silence and start thinking about all of the things you are grateful for.
Think about the fact that you are healthy, you are smart, and you are probably living in a country where you don’t have to worry about being killed by bombs. You might have parents, friends, or lovers that support you.
If you really get into that state, you will soon notice how everything changes. Life is worth living again, and every negative feeling quickly vanishes. Just try it!
Your Thoughts Create Your Reality
You must understand that your outside world is a direct reflection of the world inside you. Your perception, attitude, thoughts, feelings…these are the main “engines” that create your outside world.
In order to change your external experiences, you must first start the hard inside work. It’s quite simple once you understand it. It all starts from your way of perceiving things.
Replace “I Can’t” with “I Can”
Many times we fool ourselves with negative thoughts and beliefs. When we say “I can’t,” every bit of energy you still have left becomes useless. Believing that you can achieve something makes you ten times stronger than ever before.
When people keep saying “I can’t”, they will never accomplish whatever goals they have. It makes them weak, blind, and cowards. Whenever you experience a negative situation, quickly replace “I can’t” with “I can” and notice the big difference you create.
Contribute to Others’ Wellbeing
There’s no greater satisfaction than being able to make a difference in other people’s lives. Even though your life might be messed up, doing good deeds and offering love is always going to bring you benefits.
Even though you’re not “achieving” anything by helping others, all of your altruistic acts will have an impact over your own happiness. Your life becomes more meaningful with each and every small act you perform.
When life knocks you down, you got to get up and fight. It’s a concept that most people know but rarely apply. You see, if there was no bad in this world, we wouldn’t know how to appreciate the good.
Everything happens for a reason, and it’s up to us whether we believe this or not. It’s also up to us whether we choose to get back up and fight. Eventually, things will turn out to be fine and all of the hurtful experiences we’ve gone through will become life lessons.
Robert Morris is a personal development coach and a writer who lives in New York, USA. Robert is also working as a blog editor at essay writing service NinjaEssays.com.