When you look at various relationships, there are only few people who are lucky enough to have a balanced relationship. And then there are those who are unlucky enough to be in a selfish relationship. Nothing makes any relationship more imbalanced than selfish behavior. There are times in our lives when everyone is selfish about some things, but when it turns into a constant occurrence, it is time to take a stand.
Here are eight obvious signs that you are in a selfish relationship:
1. Your Partner Makes You Feel Worthless
If your partner is always belittling or nagging you, chances are they make you feel worthless. It has nothing to do with you, as a selfish person will never take your needs into consideration. According to them, things are always about them; which is why they will not be able to take it when you are the center of attention. If you find yourself in a position where your partner does not handle your accomplishments well, and starts listing down theirs; it’s easy to say you are in a selfish relationship.
2. You Partner Has Unrealistic Expectations
Your partner always expects you to go out of your way, and will not even consider it a nice gesture. Think about it, when was the last time your partner did something nice for you, and that too without expecting something in return. Because, a selfish person is unable to give you anything without a reason. If they did something nice for you, chances are they are sitting and waiting for you to do something grand for them.
3. Your Partner Is Self-Absorbed
Selfish people are self-absorbed, and believe what they are doing is more important than anything their partner is doing. They feel they are doing the right thing by putting themselves first, as their needs come before yours. If your partner feels your needs are beneath theirs, they are betraying you in a way. As this behavior is mentally draining, and will drive you insane.
4. Your Partner Is Controlling
If you are in a relationship where your partner expects certain things of you, but refuses to give it back; he/she has a controlling behavior. Your partner should not have the right to dictate how you live your life — a healthy suggestion is another thing. Selfish people will not see it this way and you will need to explain to them how this is unfair.
5. Your Partner Is Competitive
Another clear sign of selfishness is insecurity and competitiveness. If your partner is always trying to prove that hi/she is better than you, and trying to outsmart you; he/she is insecure. If you feel like your partner is envious of you, it is because you have something your partner wants, but is unable to have. Wanting such things, and being insecure, boosts competitiveness and selfish behavior.
6. Your Partner Disregards Your Opinions
If your partner does not consider your input on any matter — big or small — and never asks for your opinion; it is a clear sign he/she does not feel you are worthy enough. Only a selfish person has the ability to treat their partner as an unequal. With a selfish person, it will be always about them, and it will not even occur to them to ask for your opinion.
7. Your Partner Cares More About His/Her Career Than You
You will hear them complain about how tough their job is, and when you try to talk about your work; they will dismiss it by saying your job is “easy.” They will not ask you about work, and will tune you out when you try to talk about your problems. It will be okay for a selfish person to make their work top priority, but will get mad at you for doing the same thing. Chances are that during a heated argument they might even call you selfish.
8. Your Partner Finds It Hard to Apologize
A selfish partner will never be able to say “I am sorry,” even when they have ripped you apart — in their head they will have a perfectly justified argument for their behavior. As it is all about them, they will be more focused on how you hurt their feelings, and it was all your fault.
Self-absorption in any form has the ability to kill empathy, and compassion. If your partner is selfish, and cannot set aside their problems for a minute to look at yours, and help you through them; you are in a one-sided relationship. A one-sided relationship will never flourish, as any relationship will require work from both sides. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship in this world, but in order to make it work you need to add love, kindness, trust, and respect. Your self-worth and self-love should take over when you are stuck in a relationship you are not gaining anything out of.