BY HEIDI PRIEVE
1. Nobody is actually too busy to respond to you.
That guy or girl isn’t too busy to answer your text. That employer isn’t too busy to answer your email. If you’re not hearing back from someone, it’s because they have deliberately chosen not to answer you. And the sooner you stop making excuses for the people who don’t make you a priority, the sooner you can move on to the people and situations that do.
2. Everyone has his or her own best interests at heart.
No matter how genuine, kindhearted or caring a particular person is, they’re always going to be more aware of their own needs than they are of yours. Even the most attentive lover may not realize they’re pushing your buttons if you never tell them they’re doing so. Even the most honest employer may not be aware that they’re working you into the ground if you just keep accepting more work.
Unfortunately, other people are going to be aware that they’re stretching your limits, but will nonetheless push you unless and until they encounter resistance. Most people are going to take as much from you as you let them get away with – which means it’s up to you to define and uphold your own boundaries. The most powerful people aren’t afraid to say ‘No,’ to what they don’t want to do – because they know that nobody’s going to stick up for them if they don’t stick up for themselves.
3. You are never going to please everybody.
If you actually listened to what every single person wanted from you, you’d end up a lifeless, shapeless, emotionless blob. And then someone would come along and tell you to be more interesting.
The truth is, it’s impossible to please everybody. There will always be someone who’s offended by the most traditional life path or bored by the most radical one. You’re going to be criticized no matter what you do, so you might as well do what you love. Because if there’s anyone whose judgment you should listen to, it’s your own.
4. The world owes you absolutely nothing.
You may be the coolest, kindest, smartest, most interesting person in the world, but if you’re not putting any of those traits to work, you’re entitled to absolutely nothing in exchange for possessing them.
Truly powerful people know that there are two basic choices: You can spend your entire life feeling sorry for yourself because you deserve more than you’re getting, or you can go out into the world and actually claim what’s yours. Guess which choice the more successful people tend to opt for?
5. The prize for arguing on behalf of your restrictions is getting to keep them.
You can spend your entire life loudly declaring to others that you don’t have the time, money, energy or resources to accomplish the things you actually want. And all of what you claim may be true – but the harsh truth is, every single person on the planet has at least one damn good excuse for not pursuing the life they want.
The difference between the people who get what they want out of life and those who don’t is that the people who get what they want ignore their excuses. They find a way around their limitations, instead of just bitching about them, and that is the very reason why they succeed.
6. Your actions define you, not your thoughts.
You can sit indoors all day conceptualizing a better world, but until you get out there and start implementing change, you’re not actually making a difference. Good intention is a wonderful thing but unless it’s coupled with action, it counts for nothing. At the end of the day, your character is determined by what you do, not by what you think about.
7. Nobody is coming to save you from your life.
We all want to believe that the person of our dreams, the job opportunity of a lifetime or the surprise that we never expected is waiting around the corner for us. When we’re unhappy with where we are, we irrationally hope that a drastic change in circumstance will come along and save us from our misery.
But the truth of the matter is, life doesn’t work that way. Nobody’s heading your way on a white horse and if you want to see change in your life, you have to create it from the ground up.
This is what the most powerful people know. When times get tough, the strongest people strap on their own armor, mount that white horse and come to their own rescue. Because they know that if anyone is going to save their day, it’s going to have to be them.